40 Funny Reasons Why It’s Wonderful To Be A Woman
1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she’ll think she’s gay.
3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
4. A woman can never be blamed if it’s wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it’s because she was being emotionally neglected.
6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.
7. Women live longer than men.
8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.
9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.
10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).
11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman’s problems.
12. Women don’t feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.
13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
14. Women know the truth about whether size matters…
15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.
16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.
17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.
18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.
21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.
22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.
23. Women don’t have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.
24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she’s cute.
25. Women can admit to others when they’ve made a mistake
26. If a woman cries, she’s sensitive; if a man cries, he’s a wimp.
27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.
28. It’s cool to be a daddy’s girl. It’s sad to be a mummy’s boy.
29. Women can wear platforms – which is why there is no such thing as a short woman’s complex.
30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.
31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.
32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.
33. A woman’s friend won’t try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she’s drunk.
34. A woman won’t drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.
35. Women aren’t covered with hair like shag carpeting.
36. Woman don’t feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.
37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.
38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.
39. Women don’t think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.
40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.
via davesdaily.com
Gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
Cause I know just what I’m gonna do
Start to spend my money
Calling everybody, honey
Wind up singin’ the blues
Spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck
Brother I can name you a few
But I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
Cause I know just what I’m gonna do
I gotta get drunk, I can’t stay sober
There’s a lot of good people in town
Who gotta hear me holler
See me spend my dollar
And I wouldn’t think of letting em down
There’s a lot of doctors that tell me
I’d better stop putting it down
But there’s more old drunks
Than there are old doctors
So I guess I’d better have another round
I gotta get drunk, I can’t stay sober
There’s a lot of good people in town
Who gotta hear me holler
See me spend my dollars
And I wouldn’t think of letting em down
There’s a lot of doctors that tell me
I’d better stop putting it down
But there’s more old drunks
Than there are old doctors
So, Jim, take another round
Gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
‘Cause I know just what I’m gonna do
Start to spend my money
Calling everybody, honey
Wind up singing the blues
Spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck
Brother I can name you a few
Well, I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
Cause I know just what I’m gonna do
It's about all she wants. The little things. The big things. It's not about the things she does not want. It's about making him a better man. It's about making her a better woman.
